Once upon a time, maybe 10 years ago. I was young I was
still discovering the world. However, I got engaged. It was alright at first
and I thought things will be good. However, my family started to have problems
with the man. Things that they thought show that he was not ready to have a
family and to be honest I was confused and I thought that they knew better than
me so when they said we should break up, I said okay. It was a good decision, I
was young I was not ready to have a family of my own. He was not meant to be
with me. So all good. No one’s fault. I never spoke ill of him.
Moving on, 7 years ago, I got engaged again. This time my
family did not interfere and I was not influenced by anyone. However, fast
forward one month I was not happy. I can easily mention the things here, but
what’s the point. It won’t change the fact that I had the worst time in my
life. And people barely noticed. So after another month, I realized that I can’t
keep doing this to myself. That a person have limits. Learned that a person can’t
tolerate shit for so long. And when this limit is reached, this is it. So we
ended it. However, they all heard that he ended it apparently. Which was true,
I started acting up and treating him the exact same way he has been treating me
for 2 months now. And one week he could not stand it, and he said let’s end
this. I thank Allah for this. I thank Allah because I didn’t lose who I was for
a man. That I was smart enough to choose myself to refuse to change. And again
we were not meant to be.
People who actually know him wouldn’t know why we broke up.
I never told the people who know him how he treated me. Again what’s the point
they don’t need to know it. My close friends know, I am not sure my parents and
sisters know the details. But overall, I don’t think people have the right to
know unless I choose to let them know. Right?
So I am sharing this now because it came to my notice that a
family refused to let their son marry me because 10 years ago and 7 years
ago I was engaged and it did not work out. So I am not good enough for them.
His mother saw me and he said she told him that I smiled a lot, the onetime someone
said that about me was a person who disliked me and was trying to cause
problems for me. I believe because they can’t really see something they dislike
about me so they mention what they noticed first. So when he said his mother told
him this, deep down I knew she did not like me. Fast forward a week or so, he
told me his family disapproved this. Because of the reason I mentioned. Gonna be
fair about it his mother did talk to my mother to know why I broke off with my
ex1 and ex2. Mama said that “they don’t know why we broke up and that قدر الله “ but I guess his mother wanted my mother to talk badly about my
ex. If you know my mother you know she would never say bad things about people
and she did not know the details anyway.
I do believe it was
not meant to be. I am mad because I am disappointed. I am disappointed that
people can easily judge someone without even knowing them or listening to them.
I am not perfect, and I am not gonna say I have never done anything wrong in my
life. I am not an angel. At first I thought I would talk to his mother one on
one explaining things. But I am really glad I took my friend’s advice and
actually waited for few days to understand my feeling.
I would never do this,
explaining myself to someone who already built up an idea about me. I realized
that I am not sad, I am mostly disappointed in him, in society and in people in
general. This was not meant to be for reasons only Allah knows and I fully accept it.
الحمد لله
I hope that if I ever
got married and have kids I would never choose the one for them, I will let
them choose and if it was a wrong choice they will be strong enough to face the
consequence. People learn let them learn. Let them be who they are, and be with
the one they want.
Again everything
happen for a reason and I am a better person now.
P.S. he did try to talk to them but they wouldn't listen and he gave up eventually. so he did try a little.
So please don't say bad things about him he is a good person.
I wish him well.
I am truly sorry for everything
love,
Alyaa
