Happy New Year !

New year New Me 

Hello!

First post of 2018 

HAPPY NEW YEAR to you 

whoever is reading this

my fans

 ( yes I like to think that I have fans) 

It is that time of the year

The beginning of something

 The time when all of you say " New Year New Me"

Most of you start writing goals and resolutions to achieve in it 

Most of you then forget about these goals in February 

I am trying to remember what kind of goals I set for myself on 2017 

The thing is I only told myself that I would be a healthier person on 2017 

That I will reach 64 KG by the end of it

I ended up reaching my goal

That's good right?

Anyway, if you ask what are my goals this year, I would say nothing 

This year I want to live in the moment 

I don't want to think 

I don't want to plan things 

call me lazy I don't care

This year will be the year I do whatever makes me happy

This year I will be selfish 

I will put Alyaa above everything else

I am so tired of worrying about people

worrying about things I can't control 

cuze what's the point I can't change things 

so

What I should do is worry about the things I can control 

My happiness 

I am not going to be a bitch and not care about my friends and family 

I will 

If I can help 

I will

But I won't let it take over me

People keep saying do this and do that ( business projects) 

I don't feel like it

Just cuze everyone is having their own business ( probably related to food burgers, cake, blah blah) 

That does not mean we all should do that

also note: STOP WITH THE BURGER BUSINESS seriously enough is enough 

and what's up with the whole Bbq basket thingy 

you all are so damn lazy to prepare for a Bbq 

anyway 

People also keeps praying that I will be married by the end of this year 

and I say MEH

I wish they pray for my happiness more than getting married

Yes I am old 

but that does not mean I MUST get married and settle down 

I am happy the way my life is now 

I have a job 

I have a monthly Salary that I DO MY BEST TO SAVE 

but it just keeps flying SMH

I will enjoy this year 

I will buy all the things that make me happy 

Also I will try and give more to charities 

volunteer more

be healthier 

go to the gym more ( and no injuries PLZ) 

I will do try to write more I promise 

but then I am lazy so 

So if you reading this, let me know if you have any goals for 2018 

and again happy new year !

The Pursuit of Sadness?

  

Alright first, I have not seen the movie "The Pursuit of Happiness" and I don't think I will now. 

So, I always wanted to write about this but I never get the time and never in a mood to write it.
 Now I do. 

Lately, I have this weird feeling of sadness. I don't know why. 

As soon as you feel the sadness in you, your brain start fishing out all the little things that make you sad. Just to add more reasons to be sad.

Eden says in his song " Drugs"

 Things I would rather be Thoughts at the back of my head, But I'm addicted to hurting

So could a person be addicted to sadness?
 Unfortunately, I believe this true.
At this point of my life, I am telling you I can't answer if someone asks me if I am truly happy?
I don't know.
Because when I get this question my brain immediately reminds me of all the things that made me sad.
I am pretty sure I am not the only person who feels this way, right?
The thing with Sadness is if you decide to do something that makes you happy to forget this sad feelings you have, it will only be temporary.
I am happy when I am with my best friends
 I am happy when I am watching a show I waited for it for so long
I will be super happy when The Last of us and kingdom hearts 3 get released
I am happy when I hear good news about the people I care about
I am happy at the gym

You get the point, happiness is just for a moment
My friends will go back to their life and I will be alone
Shows will end
I will finish the games
And good news happiness don't even last that much
Gym time is like 2 hours maximum

I hope I am not making you depressed reading this.
I am being honest with you.

I believe that we chase the sadness in our life.
and there is nothing we can do about it.
Some people might tell you:
you are doing this to yourself
your fault
think happy thoughts
read Quran & pray

But nothing will work out.
So the thing I do whenever I feel sad is reminding myself of the important things
I am alive
I am healthy
I am safe

Life is too short to not letting go of the past, and letting go of all the thoughts that make you sad
I know
but it is such a hard thing to do
We are addicted to Sadness
It is an addiction

So it is easier to just enjoy living the moments in your life
happy
or
Sad

I just keep living




That's all for now

A monster at work

A monster at work

Don’t be scared I won’t bite you. I don’t know why I even choose this title. I am kidding I think it is me I am a monster at work.

 Anyway, from the title I am hoping you will get what I am about to tell you.

Growing up I was really kind, and easy going person. I would probably forgive you if you stabbed my back and then said sorry. I thought all people were nice all of them were kind, I was wrong.

If you knew me years ago you would probably say oh that Alyaa she was so nice! So kind so quiet. Strangers would say "I think she is a nice person" 

BUT and this is a big but, I am not so kind anymore.

This whole thing started after few years since I started working. Sometimes I think it is a good thing sometimes not.

Fact: people are rude and mean. If you keep being nice to them they will eat you alive. You won't survive. 

It all started when this Lady in this meeting said to me “why are you smiling with that guy” and she hinted that we were in “relationship" or something. It was in a meeting in front of people!!. So to my surprise I only replied with “not your business” and good thing he did not understand Arabic and did not understand a single word she said. It would have been awkward. 

 (he might end up reading this so if you do let me know :P ) 

I was so mad cuze I did not reply with more and went and cried outside as I was frustrated but did not say a thing to her face more than that. 

That was the last time I cried at work. I sent an official email to her CC’d my boss saying that what she said was unacceptable and should not happen again. Not going to bore you with details but we exchanged few emails I was so professional but on point, she was not. Also my boss finally replied to one of her emails defending me and saying it was not acceptable. 

 Anyway guess what, she did not dare to say or throw words like she used to at me! She was careful of what she says. And I don’t see her anymore so that is good.

Fact: Some of my coworkers actually ask my advice when they want to reply to some emails cuze I can be mean and point out things but in a professional way xD

 I heard things people said behind my back that was wrong and made me realize people would never be satisfied with you they will look for anything to talk about. No matter what you do there is something for them to talk about while drinking their morning karak. 

After a while,  I became a little bit rude to people around me. I would not just shut up when I see something I don’t like. Sometimes I reply to things quickly and regret it later specially if it was to my coworkers and  I end up apologizing.

Seriously it is basically like bullying, if you say nothing to those people they will keep treating you the same. So I learned to fight back for my rights I do it for myself. 

 I gave up trying being nice at work.

Now ask the new employees at work about me they will say “Alyaa probably hates me” why because I am always professional not friendly with new people. I don’t have to like them all and they don’t have to like me. This is work not friendship zone. To some, it is even more like a war zone!

So ya I learned from work a lot on how to be tough how to not be fooled by people how to not care about what they think personally of me. I made few friends from work and I love them. But some people are just coworkers to me and I respect them. Do that and you will never be frustrated at work. Unless you do your damn job and never get appreciated.

Also some of the people who said that I was rude or hate them when they first met me, they will probably tell you I am a nice person after few months (if they are nice to me obviously and not the gossiping two faced creatures)

Fact: I met a friend from highschool and told her stories that happened to me at work and how I dealt with them and she was shocked! she said you are a whole different person now. Guess what, she also changed from this quiet nice person to this tough reasonable person and we laughed about it. 

Okay probably not a monster but hopefully you got the idea. 

Supernatural!

Hey, I am back. I alway decide to do something then at some point I stop. I told myself I will write and post stuff here, but I stopped months ago. 

 Now I am back. I should post something. Anything. So I was reading about scary stories when I remembered that I actually have a scary story to tell. ( I have a lot of other scary stories, okay not a lot but some.. I find this the most annoying one) 

This is a TRUE event that happened few years ago.

Not Based on True events

It is a true one. 

So Brace yourself to be scared. 

I prefer you read this at night might be scarier 👻

Alright Alright I am going to tell the story. 

We were in a city called Cochin in India.

 A summer vacation. 

I shared the hotel room with my sisters.

 I am one of those people who can’t sleep with noises or lights on. So light sleeper I guess.

One cold and dark night. ( I am sure it was cold and very very dark) 💀

 The TV in the room had an English music channel and when it was on it was always on that channel. So one night we were all asleep.

 I woke up cuze the TV was on!

The lights were off, and TV was on an Indian channel. 

I turned towards my sisters called their names. No answer they were sleeping like babies. 

So I looked for the remote and turned it off.

 I went back to sleep and I don’t know for how long but I woke up again. 

TV was on, and the same Indian Channel ( I assume I don’t really know it was just Indian people talking). 

Again I called my sisters names “Guys this is not funny! Are you pranking me” but they were really sleeping!!😱

I got out of the bed went to the power point thingy and turned it off. 

Went back to sleep. 

And I am not kidding for the third time woke up cuze the TV was on. 

Now I started to freak out.

😱😱😱

 I told myself, don’t act scared they will smell your fears (by “they” I mean the demons “Jin” 👺👻) 

so this time I did not say anything like accusing my sisters of pranking me.

 I just got out of bed and took off the TV power cable and went as normally as possible back to bed. Said my prayers and fall asleep. 

Ya you guessed it right (or not) 

Anyway, the TV went back on AGAIN even though it was not connected to the power! 😨

And Now I was angrier than scared to be honest I WANT TO SLEEP. 😡

So I thought okay so they want to annoy me and they won’t stop.

 All I had to do is force myself to sleep with the TV on. 

And the TV was not even on low volume it was high so annoying!!

I don’t know how long it took me to sleep but I did without turning the TV off. 

Next morning I woke up with the TV off obviously and my sisters had no idea what happened. I told them though.

Lucky us it was our last night at the hotel.

                                                                 

What I learned from this experience is always act like nothing is happening or bothering me when something supernatural is happening. Like if I see a flying baby in a dark room flying I would just be cool and walk like I am not seeing it.

The End.

Wait 

Let me tell you one more scary thing that happened to me long long time ago. I was a teen I think in a road trip to Salalh ( Oman) 

We stopped at one of those motels on the road. 

we all shared a room.

I don't know what time it was but I woke up cuze I heard someone crying and saying "mama" 

I looked around everyone was sleeping and I thought someone must be dreaming. 

went back to sleep but I had a feeling that someone or something was awake.

I looked around it was dark but

next to the bathoom door, was a shape of someone who was setting 

I could not see it clearly it was just a dark shape of a human. 

I looked at my siblings they were all sleeping. 

I was so scared so I covered my head with the blanket and I still heard the sound of crying. 

I don't know how but I fall asleep. 

I don't think I told anyone this at that time cuze I thought they will make fun of me being scared. 

The End

No more ghost stories.