Meant to be

I am not sure how you will feel about reading this

some might disagree some might agree

In real life few people actually said "but this crazy"

"fight for what you want"

but what if what I want is not good for me? 

okay enough with that long intro 

in this post I want to talk about something I believe in 

ready 

here it goes 

"if it meant to be, it will be" 

"Everything happen for a reason" 

you get it, right?

In all these years that I lived on this earth I never ever asked myself

why this is happening to me?

even when I was at my lowest time

times I thought maybe death would be better than living

I still don't remember asking " why god why me"

easy example of this

Let's say I planned for something and then it did not happen

I obviously get upset 

but then I tell myself 

it is okay 

it was not meant to be 

and I move on

which is pretty good cuze I don't feel sad for long 

cuze I truly believe in that

Another easy example, deciding to do something let's say 

when I got sick and I had to see a doctor 

I went with the first one that consulted me

they all asked why and get other opinion

my answer was but she was the only one with free appointment time for me 

so it was meant to be 

I actually ended up consulting other doctors cuze you know your health matter

but they all said the same so I went back to her

but deep inside I never actually considered going to another doctor 

As I believed she was meant to be my doctor 

Everything that happened in my life shaped me somehow

now moving on to complicated thing

This is a little bit personal so enjoy 

I was engaged before 

and in our religion we do the "estekhara / استخاره" prayer 

and I did 

and everything happened quickly 

I was about to get married in 5 months 

then I realized this is not what I want

not to bore you with details 

but he was not the right person for me

and this is when I thought the worst

like I will never be enough 

that I will never be someone that you can love

but I told myself this is it 

you have to live this way 

this is meant to be

but at one point I woke up and said to myself 

no 

this is meant to make me stronger 

this is meant to make me see things better

this is meant to make me realize 

I deserve better

so long story short 

we broke up 

And I never ever asked why this happened to me

I truly never did 

cuze this changed me 

I am now a better person 

so it was meant to be 

my heart meant to be broken 

to get better 

to get stronger 

I will probably answer to

"if you could change a thing in your past what would it be"

with nothing 

cuze everything happen for a reason 

A friend of mine had same experience and all she kept saying

is why me why god 

what did I do to deserve that 

I tried once to explain to her why 

she said but we prayed why would god do that to us

and to be honest I explained to her why 

so we learn from our mistakes 

so we be a better us 

and all things above 

she did not see it 

and went back to asking why god

and it actually made her sad for something she couldn't change

I don't want to write more I hope you get it 

don't chase hope-less things 

if a thing is good in your life 

it will stay in your life

if a thing is bad 

it will not stay it was not meant for you 

and you need to learn how to let it go

be wise to see the hidden things in your life 

the good things that came out of bad things 

hope that make sense 

 As we say 

عسى ان تكرهوا شيئا وهو خير لكم وعسى ان تحبوا شيئ وهو شراً لكم

والله يعلم و أنتم لا تعلمون

You may hate a thing although it is good for

and may love a thing although it is evil for you 

Allah knows, and you do not