This thing I hate about me

I was really hesitated if I should write about this

like what will be the point

it is a sad thing

not funny 

you guys probably will hate this 

here it goes  

OVERTHINKING 

So overthinking and I are in good relationship 

It started when I was pretty young and idiot with a big imagination

I can’t help it

The worse thing is that I don't only I think about things that happened 

My damn brain actually likes to imagine things that did not happen 

Let’s say I was about to do something !

 Okay like chill brain for now at least .. when it happens think about it

But no that bastard starts making up different scenarios about how that thing will go 

And obviously all of them are negative things

These things includes conversations, actions and every single thing that could happen  

And then next day nothing happens 

or what happens is totally okay no problems nothing

so i am like wtf brain you made me worry for hours  

Why you do this to me !?

 WHY!

After all of these years of this abusive relationship with my overthinking! 

I still can’t let it go! 

I can’t break up with it 

I tried but seriously it is hard! 

And with a brain like mine “a creative one” it is the worse 

 Most of my overthinking involves drama like it should be a movie or tv show..

 maybe a musical (that’s cooler)

These days overthinking also includes me overthinking about events or plans

 Like if we plan something for next week I will start thinking about things that might happen and ruin this plan! 

I am Not kidding who does that! 

Also we have a child, called worrying

I worry so damn much

 Sometimes, or let me say most of the times my worrying is unnecessary and pointless

  If i call someone and they don’t answer and they don’t call me back 

I begin to worry what if something happened to them

 what if they are mad at me (although i did nothing ) and then this power of worrying and overthinking destroys me slowly

I try remembering everything that I said

everything that happened 

to figure out if that person is mad at me

 until they call back and be like “ i was taking a nap” 

ugh ! 

So I worry and overthink

About everything 

I can't overcome this 

so damn you brain

I decided to do something about it though 

I keep saying I am too old for this! 

And this thing has been going on for too damn long time 

I decided not to overthink and worry with the help of my tv shows 

Basically keeping my brain busy with complicated tv shows 

Or just take a damn nap if i am tired. 

hmm this might work but I doubt it to be honest 

Anyway I am pretty sure you hated reading this 

cuze I hated writing it 

it is frustrating